Wednesday, 27 February 2019

False Fairy Tale of a Child for their Father Whom Abandons Them



We are a day off of the one year anniversary of my bio-dads death. You see even at 44 years old last year when he left me , I had only known him 9 short years. Not a even a decade with the man my whole life I built around a Fairy Tale in my head. And when I say my whole life , his abandonment affected my whole life and if I remain honest it stills does. You can do all the internal self work you can find, let go of it , well think you finally let go of it , but it comes back. Cause no matter how much you wish it wasn't true, that man s action proved he never wanted you to you. Holding on to that and feeling that for over 3 decades scars you so deep. I wish now at this age I could have listened when I was told stories or told the truth about the man who ran away, but it doesn't matter, it is something you have to get for yourself , see it to finally be able to accept it.. How I wished that bubble for me could have been burst when I was younger. meet the man decades and decades earlier. My life wouldn't have been the ruin I let it become. You never quite heal from being in effect thrown away. The crazy part is it happened to me as a later teen from the family I loved so deeply , who were always there for me , they decided to abandon me too , throw me away so easily for a couple years. You have no idea the damage that that does to you.

 I was sad for about 2 hours when he died for the actual man that passed away, the man I had come to know. Though as in his life as he did with his children , he chose to die alone, not give us the courtesy of knowing that it was the end. That abandonment then at the most crucial time at the end of someones life sparked the anger. I went from the grief stage to the anger stage in less than  a few hours . The anger lasted till my birthday this year in January when pieces of my fathers life and his ashes showed up to my door. I broke hard. Gut wrenching sobs attacked my whole body , right down and touched the little girls soul. It hit me like a wave of terror, ripping through me like I was that 3 year old again crying on the top of the steps just wanting my dad.

 My internal sadness continued daily at the onset of his passing, but only for the little girl so badly damaged deep inside who spent her entire life wishing with every fiber of her being , that the man she created in her head would come and make everything better. That didn't happen though , that never happened. I became the hero of my story after I found him myself.  And I begrudgingly admit that I made a critical mistake in self healing right from the time we first talked and it is still unfinished when he left for good this time around. I never once called him on his abandonment , never once did I ask why didn't you want me. I was just that little girl again desperate to not lose her dad again so I kept the fairy tale going until it shattered itself.

 Until it shattered for you , nothing anyone said or did mattered or would have swayed you in anyway.

  And now I have done it to my youngest son. It kills me every day to know exactly how he feels. I know the torment going on in his head. You build your dad up so high in your head , give them so much of your internal power, none of which they deserve. Cause no matter how they spin it , or how they explain it away ; they left you . They abandoned you , you aren't good enough to hold a place in their  life and their heart. Never in a million years did I expect the man who biologically helped me produce Zach to abandon him that way. And you see I did it again; I created a false fairy tale around the man cause all I thought about was making sure Zach would one day get the chance to meet his dad. Plus he has a son already and treats that kid like gold , so why would he treat Zach any less. Hold out hope everyday that today would be the day he would come save him. I didn't know how else to process the abandonment of my son from his father, since of course I was still an abandoned little girl myself.  I won't let Zach live a lifetime , decades of that abandonment to scar his as I am scarred; he is so damaged without his dad already. It actually is scary to see, he is more affected at that age than me.


Saturday, 29 December 2018

Health from Transylvania Jam and Tea review


I can't even and I do not know where to start. I already need to travel to Romania and having these treats delivered to my door ,
Before I back peddle and start from the beginning  this is not a sponsored post in any way. I have chosen to review these products on my own honestly. Though full disclosure I did win these products from a giveaway they had.

As I mentioned I was one of the winners from their getting out there , introduce themselves giveaway. 10 winners receiving a tea and a jam.  My package came wrapped like a Christmas present are you kidding me. That is beyond and made me even more giddy.

The delivery was yesterday , but somehow I missed the front door buzzer and had to walk to pick it up this morning , but that gave me time to figure out what to do with my jam and tea, the best way to showcase it. Sure I hadn't even tried it or set eyes on it yet, but somehow I just knew it was going to amazing.
So before we take a look at what was in side who is Health from Transylvania?
A small artisan family run business, that takes tradition from 100 years ago from their Transylvanian roots, and produces hand made , hand foraged Jams and teas.  Ingredients harvested , made traditionally , handmade lovingly from Transylvania, Romania.  Personally how I see them from hat I have read for myself. I can say even before the review starts you can 100% taste the love in the products. You know it is homemade, you can taste it, see it , smell  it. Lovingly hand crafted.

Now down to my gifties inside 
My Tea :

I received the Tea from the Carpathian Mountains. Contains blackberry leaves, raspberry leaves, bilberry leaves, elderflowers, and linden blossom.


What I absolutely love and adore about this tea is that you can tell it is fresh picked. You are getting the actually full leaf , full flower.  That is real tea to me, steeping the actual product just loose in your cup. 
Find the teas HERE
Taste Test below.

My jam:
Adorable packaging right. The square of cloth just adds like 10 levels. I can just see this in a Nana cool room after jam making season.



Fruits of the Forest jam was my flavor received. It contains bilberries, lingon berries, raspberries, and blackberries. You are given 80 g of actual forest fruit er 100 g of product which is mind blowing to me, but one glance under the lid and you know it as such. The package also displays the name of who lovingly hand crafted your jam.
Find the jams HERE

Taste test below.

TASTE TEST REVIEW TIME:
So as I mentioned I had a plan for my taste test . I mean what else do you make jam , esp when you have tea around? ; for me you make empire cookies , and you steep the tea the way it is supposed to made. Now let's bring my Witch roots in cause why not and gifts from Romania , it can 't be any either way without cauldron shaped cookies and a reading of  your tea leaves. Tea leaf reading is not something I have done but am very keen to learn as their is history with a family member being gifted in Tasseography.
The jam is delicious. Berry after berry in this perfect preserve. Not the hard not jam, jam you get at the grocery store that is over produced. Perfect ratio of juice to berry. You can taste each harvested fruit on your tongue. The freshness and sweet taste bursts from each berry as you taste them. I would have eaten the whole jar in one sitting to be fair.










As you can see the tea is real produce. The blossoms were so pretty dancing in my cup. I allowed the tea to steep the 3 minutes and by that time all of the tea ingredients had sunk to the bottom of  my tea cup as it should.
As with the jam, the tea allowed your taste buds a taste of each element.  Each sip held different notes and flavor profiles. You will ruin it if you add any type of sweetener or creamer at all. You would miss the earthy sweet tones of the flowers, kissing each leaf to extract a taste sensation.

 The jam perfectly soaked the shortbread cookie and no need to dip. I may fancy afternoon tea from now on, though I will have to come up with more ways to use the jam and maybe bake with some of the steeped tea as well.
So on close out for a little bit of fun, here are my tea leaves, so I am giving it a shot. I see a kite left in the cup, you can;t really see but there is a string like piece of linden blossom connecting to the top bits so to me it is a kite, I also see a warrior and an arrow. inverted sort of or a greater than symbol. So using intuition of my own I can pretty much get the gist of what has shown up for me, but while I am off doing some research , what do you see in the tea leaves for me?


What are you waiting for , you need to stalk their social media and ordering a must at least from my point of view. I am gifting myself each product , it may take all year for that to happen but it is happening. I can't go back , these jams and teas have ruined every other jam and tea for me ,they are just that good. 
New company as well , please help get the word out.

FACEBOOK
WEBSITE
TWITTER
PINTEREST
INSTAGRAM
LINKEDIN

Monday, 24 December 2018

Sending Magick to you




If you have had a year or many for that matter, that may just seem to knock you down no matter which way you turn...
If you are sad and lonely...
If you are cold , with no where to get warm...
If you are scared and afraid....
If you need to know you are worth it...
If you need strength...
If you are hurting...
If... 

Then this Magick is for you.  A wish that everything turns out okay , that you find even the smallest flicker to realize things are going be okay.  Maybe not today , maybe not right at this moment but sometime. And sometime is sometimes all that is needed , the hope that sometime. 


Tuesday, 11 December 2018

There’s an Elephant in My Bathtub Blog Tour & Giveaway

                   
                     



ABOUT THE BOOK

Written by Connie Bowman
                     
Illustrated by Kelly O’Neill
Publisher’s Synopsis: When a loving father finds an elephant in his bathtub one morning he decides to take matters into his own hands. As he travels from room to room he discovers more animals making themselves quite at home. What’s a Dad to do? When his son arrives home from school he’s in for quite a surprise. Dad has gathered all of the animals together in his  son’s room for quite a safari party! At the end of the story we find that Dad has a wonderful imagination and has created a sweet story out of his son’s animals left around the house.
Ages 4-8 | Publisher: Belle Isle Books | December 10, 2018 | ISBN-13: 978-1947860261
REVIEW: 
Before I get into the book itself , I just have to mention the look of the book .  The cover and quality of the book is just like an old school, perfect reader akin to the original Sesame Street books or to Dr. Suess.  The illustrations are great. Every animal character so cute and life like. The pages are laid out wonderfully and the illustrations jump off the pages. I love how they actually fit the story as well. The story itself is such a great read. A perfect bedtime or anytime read. It would be cute to read and treasure hunt with your own little s stuffies along with the story. Most pages are only a few lines also so a great early reader for the little in your life that can read.
Such a great story to share with my 6 year old.  He loved it and could put himself in the shoes of the boy in the story . I am sure we will be having a stuffie animal party in the near future thanks to this great read.
Great gift for all the kids in your life, maybe for the teacher to read to the class as a class gift even a great donation for children that need some magick in their life. 


 OFFICIAL LINKS

TOUR SCHEDULE


The Children's Book Review
Tour Kick-Off & Giveaway
December 1
A Dream Within A Dream
Book Review
December 3
Mommy Ramblings
Book Review
December 4
Word Spelunking
Interview
December 5
icefairy's Treasure Chest
Book Review
December 6
The Fairview Review
Book Review
December 7
TeacherDance
Book Review
December 10
LitPick Student Book Reviews
Interview
December 11
Tales of A Wanna-Be SuperHero Mom
Book Review
December 12
Confessions of a Book Addict
Book Review
December 13
jrsbookreviews
Book Review
December 14
Inspired by Savannah
Book Review
December 15
Glass of Wine, Glass of Milk
Book Review
December 17
<There's-an-Elephant-in-My-Bathtub-V3.jpg>
Bianca Schulze
Founder, The Children's Book Review

GIVEAWAY

Enter to win a copy of There’s an Elephant in My Bathtub by Connie Bowman, and a menagerie of stuffed animals!
One (1) winner receives:
  • An autographed copy of There’s an Elephant in My Bathtub
  • A menagerie of stuffed animals, as featured in the prize image
Nine (9) winners will receive:
  • An autographed copy of There’s an Elephant in My Bathtub
Giveaway begins December 1, 2018, at 12:01 A.M. PST and ends December 31, 2018, at 11:59 P.M. PST.
Giveaway open to residents of Canada and the fifty United States and the District of Columbia who are 13 and older.
Connie Bowman is responsible for prize fulfillment.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

                     DISCLOSURE

Per FTC guidelines, I disclose partnership with The Children’s Book Review and Connie Bowman.

Monday, 3 December 2018

A Dreadful Fairy Book blog tour


 ABOUT THE BOOK
A Dreadful Fairy Book

Written by Jon Etter
Publisher’s Synopsis: Shade the sprite is dreadful at being the perfect fairy. After her treehouse burns to the ground, Shade embarks on a quest, albeit with rather questionable companions, to find a place her outrĂ© self can finally fit in—a place of companionship and comfort and, most importantly, positively filled with books. When fantastic ruffians, swindlers, and a pack of ruthless Unseelie hunters threaten to halt her at every turn, can Shade survive the dreadful journey and find a destination she can truly call home?


REVIEW:  
 Right off the cuff , you are hit with a grumpy telling. Which is such a great difference in narrative then almost every other book you read. There is a real Leminy Snickett feel with the book. Plus of course having Quacksworth in your head as the narrator you can't help but feel the ominous feel right from the start.  Do you dare continue the read , are you ready for it?

  I adore the in your face telling with nothing of the ordinary. It is about the Fae World but then turned on it's head and everything you thought you knew about the fae realm is given to you in a new perspective.

You follow the main character Lillyshadow Glitterdemalion (or Shade to her friends , term used loosely) through one adventure after another, some not so good either . She meets up with all sorts of magickal Fae creatures, and when some should be bad they are good, and those who should be good are bad.

 The age of intent 9-12 is perfect for this book. Of course being young at heart I loved the book myself, but through the reading saw how it related to and how appropriate the age was for this well crafted young readers novel.
 Perfect book to gift the magickal lover in your family.

 The best part about this book is the realism and the chance for young readers to be mindful that things are not always what they seem and that sometimes the use of your own experiences should influence what you see and perceive of the World and the situations around you. Of course just a journey with Magickal creatures but the lesson is there in the underlay to.
 Step away into the Fae realm  and join Shade on her journey.

  Akin to the Spiderwick Chronicles Jon Etter brings the Magickal realm to life. You are greeted with an array of creatures just waiting for your visit back to Pleasant Hollow. Though will  the journey really end there?!?

 Carefully crafted literary genius.

"Reader beware."


GIVEAWAY


Enter to win a copy of A Dreadful Fairy Book by Jon Etter!

Ten (10) winners receive:

  • A bound galley copy of A Dreadful Fairy Book

Giveaway begins November 13, 2018, at 12:01 A.M. PST and ends December , 2018, at 11:59 P.M. PST.
Giveaway open to residents of the fifty United States and the District of Columbia who are 13 and older.
Amberjack Publishing is responsible for prize fulfillment.

  a Rafflecopter giveaway

TOUR SCHEDULE


The Children's Book Review
Tour Kick-Off & Review
November 13
Word Spelunking
Book Review
November 14
A Dream Within A Dream
Book Review
November 15
LitPick Student Book Reviews
Interview
November 16
Mommy Ramblings
Book Review
November 26
The Fairview Review
Book Review
November 27
To Read, or Not To Read
Book Review
November 28
icefairy's Treasure Chest
Book Review
November 29
jrsbookreviews
Book Review
November 30
The Lovely Books
Guest Post
December 3
Tales of A Wanna-Be SuperHero Mom
Book Review
December 4
Confessions of a Book Addict
Giveaway
December 6
The Secret Files of Fairday Morrow
Book Review
December 7
The Children's Book Review
Book Review
December 8

DISCLOSURE

Per FTC guidelines, I am disclosing partnership with The Children’s Book Review and Amberjack Publishing .